We're 6 days in and I'm feeling done. If I had the power to call the shots today, Cliff would be home and I'd be on a beach somewhere sipping a cosmo and reading a book ALONE. Yes, I miss my husband and I'd like him to be on the beach with me...eventually, but right now I'd kill for five minutes of alone time. Maybe I should lock myself in the bathroom? The thing is that they would eventually find me and get in. Or they'd call the cops and I'd get locked in a mental institution. Ohhh that could be a vacation in itself. Hmm ideas, ideas. I know what you're all thinking....Mandy just had a whole day of alone time on Friday when Maeli went to the CDC and the big kids went to school. Trust me people, it wasn't enough!!
Truthfully, other than today, things haven't been so bad. We've had such a busy week. Baseball, hanging with friends, more baseball. Today though, we have been home and doing housework. There have been many fights between the oldest 2. The baby fell down the stairs. It's snowing on May 1st which is depressing in itself. And it's noisy. So, so noisy! Kayla had her first full on "I WANT MY DADDY", meltdown. I got Cliff on the phone and she immediately turned off the tears and spoke in her very sweetest little girl voice like mommy was a liar and she hadn't been crying at all.
While talking to Cliff today, I realized that right now I have the raw end of this deal. He's in a hotel in New Jersey, sleeping in, watching cable, working out, eating out. He said he deserves it since he's about to go into combat. I then "explained" to him, that I am already in combat. Then as if to prove me right, the baby poked the dog in the eye and the dog bit her.
Yesterday, I had to put Kayla's new carseat together. I was thisclose to calling someone for backup, and then I decided to just bang the damn carseat on the ground until the headrest popped into its proper place. Take THAT, carseat! I guess I'll be done with my post now since the oven is beeping at me telling me it's time to feed the minions again....
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Day 2
Last night was sleepless. I missed Cliff. I was hot, I was cold, the dog was barking, but mostly I just missed Cliff and I was worried about him traveling. Yesterday, I mentioned that all of his flights had been delayed. They went on to be further delayed and then his plane broke. He finally made it to Philly in the wee hours of the morning and then he had to rent a car and drive into New Jersey. He arrived just 2 hours before his class started. Poor guy was obviously exhausted but pushed through, went to class, and then took a 2 hour nap on his lunch break. I talked to him for a short while after class and he was getting ready to go to sleep for the night. I feel much less stressed knowing he is safe and sound right now.
Today was easier since there were no goodbyes looming. We got snow last night and one of the major roads I drive on to take the kids to school was a solid sheet of ice. They were *almost* late, but we managed to make it just in time. Maeli and I did a Target run and then came home and napped. I could get used to this whole napping thing haha.
Our routine contined to go pretty well today. Dinner was courtesy of Stouffer's! Mac and cheese with some ham, and then strawberries for dessert. Homework was done before the t.v. was turned on. The kids went to bed easily. I got a lot of housework done and everything is ready for tomorrow which always relaxes me. Sure I forgot to set the trash on the curb, there is a pile of laundry that needs to be folded in the rocking chair, another growing pile of dirty laundry in the laundry room floor, and well let's not even get started on the messiness of the bedrooms upstairs, but hey those things are all hidden so they don't count right?
This blog could get pretty mundane and I apologize for that. I'm mostly writing it because it's a good release for me and a good way for my family and my husband to see that I'm surviving. I have some things coming up this week to keep me busy. Coffee with a friend in the morning and grocery shopping and a pedi on Friday with another friend. All in all it's been a decent day, I'm just hoping sleep comes much easier tonight.
Today was easier since there were no goodbyes looming. We got snow last night and one of the major roads I drive on to take the kids to school was a solid sheet of ice. They were *almost* late, but we managed to make it just in time. Maeli and I did a Target run and then came home and napped. I could get used to this whole napping thing haha.
Our routine contined to go pretty well today. Dinner was courtesy of Stouffer's! Mac and cheese with some ham, and then strawberries for dessert. Homework was done before the t.v. was turned on. The kids went to bed easily. I got a lot of housework done and everything is ready for tomorrow which always relaxes me. Sure I forgot to set the trash on the curb, there is a pile of laundry that needs to be folded in the rocking chair, another growing pile of dirty laundry in the laundry room floor, and well let's not even get started on the messiness of the bedrooms upstairs, but hey those things are all hidden so they don't count right?
This blog could get pretty mundane and I apologize for that. I'm mostly writing it because it's a good release for me and a good way for my family and my husband to see that I'm surviving. I have some things coming up this week to keep me busy. Coffee with a friend in the morning and grocery shopping and a pedi on Friday with another friend. All in all it's been a decent day, I'm just hoping sleep comes much easier tonight.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Day 1
Today was a hard, hard day. I hate saying goodbye, as do most people. It's one of those things where you just want it to be over but you also want that one small moment to last forever. I stood there staring at Cliff, trying to memorize everything about him, trying to freeze it all in my mind as if it wasn't all there already. He held me close as I failed miserably at not crying. I soaked it all in, his smell, his reassuring voice, the feel of his lips on mine, and the vast amount of love. I watched him hug our children, kiss me one, two, three last times and then I watched him walk away.
The kids cried hard, except of course Maeli who is just confused. It honestly broke my heart. I stood in the elevator huddled with them, telling them how we had to be strong for eachother as tears streamed down my own face. We walked to the car, there was more calming, and then I drove them to school. Braden's teacher was sympathetic. Kayla's teacher is a military wife with a deployed husband, and she comforted Kayla and I. When K got home this afternoon, she told me Mrs. Teke didn't make her take a rest at school but instead, her sweet teacher held Kayla in her lap and talked to her about Cliff and her own husband. It's kindness such as that that gets us through times like these.
Maeli and I grocery shopped, we got Starbucks, we ate lunch, we napped. We picked the kids up from the bus, had our first pizza night of many to come. We did homework, and baths, and bedtime. I'm attempting to jump right into a normal routine and I think so far, so good...but it's only day 1 so ya know...
Cliff has had a miserable day, every plane has been delayed and he is hours behind schedule. But I've gotten to talk to him a lot today so even though I feel bad for him, you won't hear me complaining.
My heart is heavy and it feels broken, but I know from experience it will get easier every day. At least I have him to love and miss. At least, I didn't sell any kids to the zoo yet or go bonkers....yet :)
On a last note, to all my friends and family that I seem "distant" to. I just don't know what to say right now. Sure I'm fine, sure I"ll make it, sure it'll fly. But today I'm in zombie mode. Every thought that pops into my mind, every concern, every sympathetic look (even from strangers) has the possibility of turning me into a crying, emotional, lunatic. I appreciate all the love and support, I just don't want to cry anymore today lol.
The kids cried hard, except of course Maeli who is just confused. It honestly broke my heart. I stood in the elevator huddled with them, telling them how we had to be strong for eachother as tears streamed down my own face. We walked to the car, there was more calming, and then I drove them to school. Braden's teacher was sympathetic. Kayla's teacher is a military wife with a deployed husband, and she comforted Kayla and I. When K got home this afternoon, she told me Mrs. Teke didn't make her take a rest at school but instead, her sweet teacher held Kayla in her lap and talked to her about Cliff and her own husband. It's kindness such as that that gets us through times like these.
Maeli and I grocery shopped, we got Starbucks, we ate lunch, we napped. We picked the kids up from the bus, had our first pizza night of many to come. We did homework, and baths, and bedtime. I'm attempting to jump right into a normal routine and I think so far, so good...but it's only day 1 so ya know...
Cliff has had a miserable day, every plane has been delayed and he is hours behind schedule. But I've gotten to talk to him a lot today so even though I feel bad for him, you won't hear me complaining.
My heart is heavy and it feels broken, but I know from experience it will get easier every day. At least I have him to love and miss. At least, I didn't sell any kids to the zoo yet or go bonkers....yet :)
On a last note, to all my friends and family that I seem "distant" to. I just don't know what to say right now. Sure I'm fine, sure I"ll make it, sure it'll fly. But today I'm in zombie mode. Every thought that pops into my mind, every concern, every sympathetic look (even from strangers) has the possibility of turning me into a crying, emotional, lunatic. I appreciate all the love and support, I just don't want to cry anymore today lol.
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